Behind the Chair

As I walk through the door pushing my son in front of me I feel proud. I am proud that I have the opportunity to be the one standing behind this chair, and that I am the one who gets to call this boy in front of me my own.

From the moment I start to lift my son out of the car and into his chair for a routine errand to the grocery store his face lights up. His excitement level will grow after we buckle him in and start rolling towards the door. His eyes will widen and his legs will bounce with energy and shoot straight out in front of his chair. He will start looking all around with a big grin on his face and cock his head backwards and upwards to look up from his chair and smile right at me. He doesn’t use any words to communicate, but in this moment he doesn’t need to. I know what he is saying. He isn’t saying I love this store or I am excited to get a new toy or treat. He is saying I love you, and I love being with you and I am excited to go wherever you take me. As we proceed through the store going about our errands, many people that we pass will take notice of him and offer a quick smile towards him and then up to me, and I will reciprocate. Of course there also will be others that will look with a smile followed by a sad or pity-filled expression. There might even be those that I will hear behind our backs saying something like, “Ohhhh, did you see that boy? That’s so sad.”

I might not say anything, but what I think about in those moments is that they must not have looked at the expression on his face. They only saw the chair and not the smile of a little boy who is filled with Joy and the proud father guiding him whom gets to call him his own.