A Letter to the Greatest Man I Never Met

I will once again diverge slightly from the primary theme of Literary Corner (that being some commentary on literature) to present a truly remarkable letter written by one of my sons-in-law to my father. As you will see in the letter, Brett (Erin’s Husband) never actually met my dad, but he came to feel his love and influence through the countless stories he heard from family and friends. This was written on August 16, 2018, and as it states in the letter, it would have been Dad’s 89th birthday. Interestingly, my Mom is currently 89 years old. Thank you Brett for this wonderful, heartfelt letter to the greatest man that I know.

A Letter to the Greatest Man I Never Met

by Brett Kosidowski

Where does a man even begin when writing a letter to someone he never had the opportunity to meet? I could list off all the stories that I have heard about you, but that would require writing a novel, and who has time for that? Yes, well beside one of your boys… One of my greatest regrets in life was that Erin and I had only met month’s before you became ill, and I never got the opportunity to physically meet you, shake your hand, and build a relationship with someone that is more revered by his family, than anyone I have ever heard of. I just want to let you know that your life impacted SO many more people than you can imagine. I know that up in heaven, you understand it now, but I want to do my best to truly thank you for all you did, and let you know how proud I am to be part of the Ward family.

The sons that you have raised are some of the most interesting men I have known. They have all written books on their own and are extremely successful in everything they have set out for in life. Tim knows more about his heritage and Irish history than most accredited University Historians, Pat owns his own engineering business out in State College, Kevin grows beautiful gardens, authored a novel, and spends his summers relaxing and constructing projects at a cabin in Alexandria, and Phil is changing the lives of young people everyday teaching at a High School and retired from a very accomplished basketball coaching profession. These boys are all so unique, but they share qualities that one can only achieve from having such a strong and supportive father figure. The way you lived your life in front of them, molded them to be the men that they are today. The homemade planes and foot stools that you hand crafted in your shop for all the kids, the trips to Spectacle Lake that all the boys still talk about to this day, the silly jokes that are repeated far too often (The Dunn Joke, and Why’s a Mouse question). The boys still coin the phrase, “Bastard”, far too much, but it is said in an endearing way that is an homage to you, and your willingness to try and fix anything, which always reminds me of the great Bicentennial Brake Job story with Uncle Denny. I pray that one day my children and grandchildren talk of silly moments from my life, that at the time didn’t seem so magnificent.

Bernie, you were a man of God, focused on raising your family, practicing the principles of His love and patience by living them out daily and teaching the boys life lessons. Erin and I have found a church that is right for our family, and she is follower of Jesus, because you and Darlene instilled those principles in your children so many years ago. You were a man known around town for your honesty, work ethic, charm, and for serving your country. A few of your boys served proudly in their father’s footsteps in one way, shape, or form, as well as your grandson Nick. It takes so much for one to take time out of his young life to serve the United States, and I thank you for your dedication to so many.

The true character of a man is the way that he loves his wife. There is strong testimony from all of your children and grandchildren about how much you loved your wife Darlene, and how you displayed it for everyone to see. It is something we could all aspire to be more like. Erin talks so much about how her favorite memories of Grandma and Grandpa Ward were when you would often put on music in the living room and dance with each other, like no one else was in the room. It was extremely evident that you loved your wife and made sure she felt important. Your boys talk about how you always had Darlene’s back when it came to discipline, rules, and supporting her as their Mother. The boys knew you and Darlene were a team and nothing they could do could come between the love you had for one another. I know I can be a kinder husband to Erin, because of your influence.

Finally, my favorite part of your legacy is how you loved your boys. You set a precedent for their futures that you didn’t get to fully experience during your time on earth. You were able to see them raise their children, but if you could only see the joy in their eyes as they have become Grandpas. Kevin, Pat, and Phil all have Grandpa skills that can only be learned from observing greatness. They are all strong headed, sharp tongued men at times, but when these grandchildren come to visit, they are beyond loving, nurturing, and most importantly, fun. Your greatest quality as GRAMPS, came from the countless stories I have heard from the love of my life, Erin, and her siblings Ryan and Megan. Plain and simple, you were FUN to be with. They talk about going to your house for weekends while Kevin and Julie were out on a date, working with you in your workshop, shooting bottle rockets at John Ward Park, and silly games like sending tires down the basement steps. You gave them all crazy nicknames that still come out from time to time, and I have had the absolute pleasure of witnessing you personally, in all your glory of being Gramps, on Homemade Videos that captured the essence of you. I enjoy watching you playing songs on the piano with the grandchildren, searching for the “papers” in an episode of Mr Gompers, and getting in the pool and actively swimming with them in California. I LOVE listening to you narrate the videos that you sent to your children to keep in touch, and little did you know that your homemade documentaries would positively inspire someone you never met to want to be a better person. I am inspired to be a better father to Kinsley and Kaden because of you.

Bernie, I just wanted to write you a letter on what would be your 89^th Birthday to put into words a way to say, thank you for the way you lived your life.  I look forward to the day when we do get to meet in Heaven, and enjoy a conversation together.

Love,

Brett Kosidowski